you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
