it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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