She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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