I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
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