i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
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