only you would photoshop your dick
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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