I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
