At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
