My brain says no but my pants say off.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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