Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize