look no pants
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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