Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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