im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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