Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
