In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
