So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
