OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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