i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
