Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
