I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
You need a sexual gate keeper
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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