She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
