Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
try to milk me bitch
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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