you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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