Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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