you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
