Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize