We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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