Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
