It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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