did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
