Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize