in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
