my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.