just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
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she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
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I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.