Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Randomize
