ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
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my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.