it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
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