the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
How does it feel to date your dad?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
