omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
