I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
i out mim tonsoeep
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
