You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
