last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
