doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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