why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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