and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Randomize
