I want to stick my p in your. b.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
