When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
