we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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