my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Randomize
