ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
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