I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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