i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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