His pubic hair was longer than his dick
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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