I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
