im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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