There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Girls should come with a carfax report
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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