Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
