Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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