i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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