i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
There's always time for handjobs
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
