Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
