there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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