Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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