I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
