remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
