is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
